Ok here's a bit of a life story from the last year involving one girl, I don't think she'll ever read this but I just want to write about it and hopefully not think about it as much anymore...
I started work in November 2005, I enjoyed it and still do, I met some great new people and people that I already knew. There was a South African girl that worked there too, I won't say here real name so I'll call her "Posh Bird" and she was just finishing for Christmas and heading home to South Africa to spend Christmas and New Year with her family.
I didn't know Posh Bird at all hardly and from what I could tell she seemed a happy person and I couldn't wait for work to start so I could get to know her. After a couple of weeks I got to know her a little better and I give her a lift to work and home a couple of times when her car was in the garage. One night I went home and I had a email off her, it was her work email address and it said something on the lines of blah blah I really like you blah blah, I thought she wouldn't be the sort of person to write stuff like that in a email but I replied anyway saying that I liked her too.
Next day at work she shown my dad (yes my dad works in the same office as me 
!) the email that I sent her and she told my dad that she didn't send the one to me. I was a bit confused with it all and felt like a right tw@ knowing that she didn't send it and someone had played a prank on me. Well this email didn't go down too well with her and we got off on the wrong foot and I got aload of stick for it.
As time went on and on we started to get know each other a bit better and started to have a laugh in pretty much everything we did, funnily enough most of it involved carboard boxes. (don't ask!) I started her to like her more and more as the months went on, but I didn't really want to say anything as what happend when I sent the email earlier in the year, I didn't want a repeat.
I had 2 weeks holiday booked for in August so I went on holiday for a week in Benidorm with my family, it was one of the slowest weeks of my life, in a good way, warm weather, beer and stunning views, what more could you want? but I had Posh Bird on my mind and couldn't wait to go back to work and see her.
When we came back from Benidorm it was birthday a couple of days later so my dad organised a little party at our house with all my mates from work and Posh Bird came too, we had a BBQ and that, but it p!ssed it down (in the middle of summer!!) and messed that idea up so we had a little buffett instead and a couple of beers. For some reason my head was in messed up world and I couldn't hardly speak to Posh Bird, all this thinking in Spain flipped me out and couldn't say a word, well I could be not what I really wanted to say.
Another couple of weeks went by and I needed to tell her that I loved her or it was going to drive me crazy. I built up the courage to tell her so I asked her if she wanted to go for a week at the beach, but she told me she had to go shopping - so that feked that idea up and it was back to thinking mode.
I thought it might be best if I kept quiet for now and wait for a more appropriate time, so I did. Around October time she announced that she was leaving the Country in December and going back home to South Africa to be close to her family. I was shocked, didn't know what to say and a bit upset, the women I love is leaving and I probably wouldn't see her again after she has gone.
We started to txt each other quiet a bit at night after she said that, one night we must've txt'd one another 30 times each, this wasnt your normal txt subject, well it was at the start but by the end of the night she knew that I loved her, I done it the wussy way and told her over a txt msg, I wasn't going to, but as the conversation went on it seemed more and more right, but with her leaving I had nothing to lose.
I think she was a bit surprised with what I said, she sent me a message back saying that if I said something earlier it may of been different and she would be interested in what could of been. So after saying that I was totally gutted and wishing that I said something a couple of months back and not chickened out and kept quiet. - Will I learn?!?!
...to be continued tomorrow, there quite a bit more to write, but I'm too tired and have to be up at 6:30am for work.
-L.
It made my Sunday brighter seeing as I was ill, but I'm ok now.
